is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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