I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
