bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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