saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
