Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If that was your dad, he is hot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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