I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
