I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
