no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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