There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
please come you make the beer taste better
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize