return my video game
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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