McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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