new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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