I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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