My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
