Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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