xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
