I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
