So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
