I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
not ubering you a puppy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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