he thought i was a dude.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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