I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
