kristin has been a bad kristin
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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