I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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