This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
