I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
