Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
