Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
