if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
