Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just found puke in my bra..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
