you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
