I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize