We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
