I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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