So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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