I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I lost the right to judge tonight
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
