I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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