i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
