youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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