just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize