Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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