He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
