What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
organizing the empties. That sober.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
