there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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