I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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