he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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