So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize