is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
