and i looked up. we had an audience...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
