apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
