I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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