So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
