sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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