Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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