discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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