the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
