you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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