What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
