me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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