This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
not ubering you a puppy
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
